West Coast Review

Last night it was pouring rain when I got the call.

A whispering voice, like silk against silk said, “come quick, come quick.”

I didn’t ask why because I wouldn’t have received an answer. I called my brother Val and Grandmama Lola. Neither one of them picked up.

The call could have been for anything. It could have been a death or it could have been missing car keys. Either way when Tellias calls me in that tone of voice I have to go, because that is what you do when the elderly folks in your life call in obvious distress. I’ve had too many of those calls to take anything lightly.

All three of us, husband Teddy, teenage Clara, and myself got into the car and prepared for a long night. As I got behind the wheel I told my husband and child that I did not want to…

Andy stood in the dark on his back patio looking at the night sky.  He sang softly to himself, barely audible.

L’amour est un oiseau rebelle
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser,
Et c’est bien in vain qu’on l’appelle
S’il lui convient de refuser.
Rien n’y fait, menace ou prière.
L’un parle bien, l’autre se tait.
Et c’est l’autre que je préfère.
Il n’a rien dit mais il me plait.

Turning around he found his brother Max standing by the French doors that lead to the patio. Andy in his jeans and white dress shirt was in stark contrast to Max’s all black, mostly leather ensemble.

Max smiled. “I’m still in awe of the beauty of your voice baby brother.”

Andy gave Max a bro hug. “Thanks. You worked tonight?”

“I’m keeping the world safe for Vampires everywhere.”

“And you’re greatly appreciated by all of us.”

Max was a hunter of…

Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman.

This week: Woodchucking, An Itchy Witch Situation, Getting Published, and Dealing with a Disneyland Dad. I’m not sure I have the answer you want but I have the answer you’ll get today.

Dear Juliette,

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

~ Tongue Tied

Dear Tongue Tied,

Really? Woodchucks?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood it wouldn’t be much. They have little bitty arms and can’t throw logs like some great big Vampire guy could. I’d say after a hefty pile of kindling, say about a twenty-five gallon drum full the poor little critter would be exhausted for a week.

~ Juliette

Look at those tiny little woodchuck arms.

Dear Juliette,

How do I get my book published? Should I go with an agent or publish it myself?

~…

A Guest Post From My Dearest Vampire Friend Amelia

It was a Friday night in the city that never sleeps. No, not New York. Las Vegas. Land of glitter and sleaze, neon and nightclubs; where we’d just as soon blow up our old buildings than redecorate. Viva Las Vegas! It was early June 2011 and my friend had come for a much needed visit. For me. Juliette is kind that way. I get sad, she comes and visits. I’m not nearly as good a friend. But then it’s me that gets tired of the grind of life. Or rather death. Maybe I should look into a different line of work. Life as a contract worker for several dystopian bureaucrats takes its toll, eventually. Believe me. Everything you’ve seen in the movies about being someone whose job it is to terminate others with extreme prejudice? Make it 1,000 times more boring…

It is Friday which means another installment of Serial Novel The Girl in the Woods This is a regular feature for 2016, our until the story ends. If you’ve missed any of the installments please go to the Girl in the Woods page (check the sidebar or click HERE.)  I started writing this story years ago when I had babies, but haven’t looked at it for years, until now. We are rediscovering this story together. So enjoy. Happy  reading.

Part 8
An Engagement Party

Alexander lived in an ancient stone house about a half mile behind the Royal residence. He had lovingly restored his home into a lavish, yet comfortable 20 room retreat. He wanted a place to entertain and to be alone when necessary. Lori helped him hand pick a staff.

He was in the kitchen picking out the wine. The best was from the “Two Brothers” vineyards…

Dear Diary,

Today I started to write my memoirs. I feel the weight of the damned upon my shoulders.

The cats are screaming. I must feed them. They refuse to catch their own food. I will start feeding them salad greens to inspire them to channel into their carnivore souls.

~ Vlad

Dear Diary,

The cats are not happy with me.

~ Vlad

Dear Diary,

Three hundred years of sleep has put me at a disadvantage. I wake and the world is an alien planet. Yes, I, Vlad the Vampire King, know what Science Fiction is. I make a comparison, only the world in which I have awakened is not fiction.

I’ve read the stories of Philip K. Dick, Ursula K. Le Guin, and H. G. Wells. Their worlds are hardly less fantastic than what I see before me each and every single day. Yet, their writing is bold and…

Thought I’d have a go at capturing on film (or whatever you call it these days) some rather cold pigeons in central Ankara recently. I had an hour or so to kill as part of my family taxi duties, but that means time to explore, or in this case, try something new 🙂

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Ask Juliette (Ask A Vampire – Advice for Everyone) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampire Maman.

These are real questions from real readers. If you have a question about relationships, parenting, Vampires, paranormal stuff, fashion, Zombies, art, or ANYTHING just ask and I’ll try to answer. If might not be the answer you expect, but it will be an answer.

Email me at juliettevampiremom (at) gmail (dot com)

Dear Juliette,

My boyfriend told me that he thinks I’m fat. I don’t look like a super model but I think I look good. I’m in my right height and weight range. Other than that he is a great guy. How can I get him to understand that real women don’t look like underwear models?

~ Looking Good

Dear Looking Good,

You can’t make him understand. The guy is a pig. Dump him.

~ Juliette

Dear Juliette,

I thought I’d found the…

Dear Juliette – Ask A Vampire
Advice for Everyone

Dear Juliette (Ask A Vampire) is a regular Thursday feature on Vampiremaman.com

These are real questions from real readers. If you need advice or just have an interesting question send it to: juliettevampiremom@gmail.com

Dear Juliette,

Now that my teenage daughter has her driver’s license, she repeatedly fails to text me when she’s not coming home after school.  She is expected to do her chores at home before going anywhere after school. Again, I text her and asked where she was. “Sorry, at dance practice, but I did come home after school.”

“Why aren’t the dishes done?”

“Oh, well I went back to school to edit the video project before dance.”

Do we place restrictions on her for these breaches? What do you do when your kids don’t communicate or do what is expected?

~ Worried Mom

Dear Mom,

Boy does this…