God Rest Ye Merry Werewolves, and Ghosts and Vampires too. With muffins. We can’t forget the muffins.

Juliette Kings's avatarVampire Maman

Today I stopped by my friend (dare I say friend) Austin’s house to drop off muffins for his Grammy. She loves muffins, especially the ones I make. Austin and Grammy are Vampire Hunters, but they only go after the bad ones. I’m not a bad one. In fact I’ve had them help me out a time or two but that is a different post.

I know you might think it odd that I’m making muffins, being a Vampire and all, but I DO make the best muffins. I don’t eat them but I love the smell and I love the joy they bring. Just like my husband Teddy becomes the cookie baking king this time of year.

When Teddy was a child, a long long long time ago, he would make cookies with his mother and their cook. Now that he is a Vampire (since 1875) he still bakes cookies…

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On The First Day Of Christmas My Vampire Gave To Me…

A Christmas Tradition

Juliette Kings's avatarVampire Maman

It is now time for the annual Vampire Holiday Sing-A-Long!

On the first day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

A Raven in a Dead Tree

__

On the second day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

Two Vials of Blood

And A Raven in a Dead Tree

__

On the third day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

Three Bat Skulls

Two Vials of Blood

And A Raven in a Dead Tree

__

On the fourth day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

Four Howling Wolves

Three Bat Skulls

Two Vials of Blood

And a Raven in a Dead Tree

__

On the fifth day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

Bram Stokers Heart

Four Howling Wolves

Three Bat Skulls

Two Vials of Blood

And a Raven in a Dead Tree

__

On the sixth day of Christmas my Vampire gave to me

Six…

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Grow Up?

mapelba's avatarMarta Pelrine-Bacon

Have you seen a New Yorker article about the horrors of the birthday week? The author takes exception to people who celebrate their birthday for more than one day. It’s narcissistic and self-obsessed. It’s childish.

Reading the article and several of the comments made me wonder about how some of us seem to live in very different worlds. I imagine these people inundated by non-stop birthday outings, being dragged through office break rooms and being forced to wear party hats. People are weird.

Personally, I’m going to cheer you on if you want to celebrate your birthday for a week or for a month. If you’re happy enough to celebrate being brought into this world, then hell yeah! Bring it, birthday celebrants! (Especially if there’s cake.)

Most commenters supported long-lasting birthday shenanigans, but a few definitely agreed birthdays had gone too far. They called birthday revelers narcissists and ego-maniacs. They…

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Vampires, Party Favors, Family, Friends, Thanks, and a Recipe for Swiss Chard.

Juliette Kings's avatarVampire Maman

Vampires, Party Favors, Family, Friends, Thanks, and a Recipe for Swiss Chard.

Back in the 1880’s around the time of Jack the Ripper, my brother Valentine and I spent some time in London. We were in our 20’s out having fun and getting into more trouble than I want to mention tonight. There, in London, we met another young American Vampire, named Pleasant Van Dusen. Pleasant and I became lovers. He was handsome, cultivated, fashionable, sexy, and I hate to admit, but a bit more of an asshole than I needed. But at the time we worked well together, especially with the party scenes of both elegant Vampires and warm blooded folks.

We were young. We were Americans. We were full of too much joy and light for most Vampires we met there. Truly, we were, and of course the others, the English, and European Vampires found us extremely fascinating.

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Xingfu means blessed.

XingfuMama's avatarXingfuMama

Xingfu means happy and blessed in Chinese. Even though 2014, the year I started this blog, was a busy and, at times, difficult year that is the word I thought of for this space. Mama not because I have many children but because I seem to fall into a caregiving role. Sometimes I feel like Mama to the world.

The name XingfuMama means Happy Mama with undertones of being blessed.

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Back To Fall

Fall is here!

aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

As soon as it’s November
the pumpkins will be gone
the skeletons are in the attic
free of ghosts is our lawn.

**

For a moment there is silence
in peace, our life can stay
for just one small and little moment
before the next big holiday.

**

Enjoy the break and get your strength
you will need it you will see.
Go for walks enjoy the season
be relaxed, and smile, feel free.

**

But first of all, before the break
We need to work and take a beat
to get us through the pumpkin time
and play the trick or treat!

*****

(Copyright: Aurora Jean Alexander, October 2019)

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How to write a humour column

rossmurray1's avatarDrinking Tips for Teens

People sometimes come up to me and ask, “Excuse me, what’s the price of this cabbage?” to which I reply, “Sorry, I don’t work in the Produce Department; I simply enjoy the refreshing mist when they water the lettuce.” But sometimes they also ask, “How do you write a humour column week after week?”

After I ensure myself that they’re not asking “why” instead of “how,” I explain to them the long and complicated creative process, by which time the store is starting to close and they regret not simply ordering Chinese.

But I see you, reader, have plenty of time on your hands, given that you’ve even made it this far, so let me provide you a peek under my brain-lid where the creativity mice come up with the words, though more often than not just sit around scrolling through their Twitter feeds.

The first ingredient of a humour…

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5th Halloween Poem Contest – 1 Week Left!

A Halloween Tradition!

aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

Picture courtesy of http://preventioncdnndg.org/

Deadline for the contest is

October 31, 2019 – 9 pm Pacific Time

Hurry up!

Every author and poet are invited to participate and deliver a “Halloween-Poem” to my email address:

aurorajean.alexander@aol.com

together with their picture and a link to their website, a social media account or blog

  • Your poem needs a Halloween theme.
  • Your poem needs a minimum of 99 words.
  • Your poem has to be delivered to my email address between October 10 and Halloween, October 31, 2019, at 9 pm Pacific Time.
  • Your poem has to be delivered together with your picture and a link to your blog/page.
  • Please avoid violence, bad language, and sexual content within the poems. It would be disqualified.

Thank you very much for participating and making it very hard for the jury to decide on the winners!

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A Road Too Narrow and A Bridge Too Far

cosistories's avatarcosistories

She was on a road too narrow.
Too narrow to be rightfully called a road.
Too narrow for a car.
Too narrow for a cavalcade of motorcycles.

It was wide enough for only one.
One to walk down.
One to travel and get lost on.
Lost in one’s own thoughts.

And so she traveled on alone.

***

He was on a bridge too far.
Too far away to connect with anyone or anything.
Too far to find.
Too far away to see.

It was a forgotten bridge.
Because it was too far away for anyone to remember.
Too far away for anyone to travel to or on.

No cars traveled down it.
No bicyclists pedaled down its way.
No roller bladers swung their arms and hollered,
“Hey! Get out of my way!”

So, he walked down the bridge.
And he was all alone.

***

Her road was below his bridge.

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More Vampire Art From Jason Kemp (I absolutely LOVE these)

Juliette Kings's avatarVampire Maman

If you’re visiting Vampiremaman.com, and especially if you like Halloween and Vampires, you’ll love the art of J. Harrison Kemp aka my friend Jason Kemp of Tenkara Studios.

I posted the first batch of Vampire Art of Jason Kemp earlier this month. Here is the second group. SQUEEEEEEEEE. OMG I love these SO MUCH. Thank you Jason. xoxoxox.

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I have to stop for a second and admit in my cold Vampire heart that the top four images have my heart (especially the top two). Oh my goodness. Ask any Vampire. That said, the rest are utterly fabulous too.

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Tenkara Studios are presently the sole domain of author and illustrator J Harrison Kemp, or Jason as the dust bunnies call him. Within the halls of his labyrinthine workspace, a sprawling Wunderkammer, or wonder-room if you will, we find the artist surrounded and overly influenced by the many intricate objet d’art of…

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Pinnacle of Sadness

cosistories's avatarcosistories

He found her standing alone on a pinnacle of sadness.

There was no breeze.

Her blue dress hung down in straight lines. Her white stockings had seen better days. Her white pinafore was gone to points unknown.

She had chopped her blonde hair to shoulder length, but the ends were uneven as if they couldn’t remember the right way to grow out again.

He cleared his throat.

He removed his hat and cleared his throat again. “I’m here.”

“I know.” Her voice was no longer that of a child. It was sad and worn out.

“Will you come back with me?”

She didn’t respond.

“Alice.” He tightened his grip on his top hat’s brim. “Alice, will you come back with me?”

“I can’t. My heart is no longer intrigued by oddities and bizarre things. My heart has aged and grown weary.”

“Then, come with me. Find your inner joy again.”

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5th Halloween Poem Contest – 1st Group Of Submitted Poems —

aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

Picture courtesy of: http://preventioncdnndg.org/

Please respect each authors’ and poets’ copyright. The rights remain with the writers. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from each of the poems author’s is strictly prohibited and violates copyright laws in the country you are reading this work in as well as in the country you are trying to re-publish this work in. – Aurora Jean Alexander

The Hunt…

By

Christopher Graham

It was Halloween night, the full moon was bright,
why did you choose the witching hour
to explore this old house, where not even a mouse,
would eat any food, it would be sour.

Then a spooky sound, echoes around.
Claws, clickety, clacking on the floor.
You look all about, and know without doubt.
They’re coming from just outside the door.

Suddenly … silence … there can be no more pretence.
You know, that they know…

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