A Letter Of Disappointment

Dear manager of The Homicidal Homily Hotel,

I will have you know that I am deeply disappointed with your clearly false advertising. You had said in your brochures that this was a place to get away from vampires and ghouls and other paranormal creatures. You had promised me a fearfully rollicking good time. Ax-wielding maniacs and dangerous traps and secret trap doors….. THAT was the good time I had in mind when I paid for my reservation.

What did I get instead? Well, let me tell you.

First night of my stay at your “esteemed” establishment —your brochure’s choice of words. Not mine — I went out for a late night swim. I had assumed that the pool would be empty. But no. There was a merman in the pool. Can you believe such audacity? A merman!

Oh, of course, he was quite beautiful with his silver streamer hair…