Why I want to be stupid famous

Why I want to be stupid famous

So I can have another baby and give it a really stupid name.
So I can get a really ugly jacked up hair cut and see how many women get the same style.
So I can have my own show and flash my big boobs to millions of people (no, really, I do have big boobs)
So I can be really stupid and get paid for it.
So I can one day be on one of those “Whatever happened to…” shows.
So I can be considered “fascinating” by the likes of Barbara Walters.
So I can send my child with the stupid name to a guru when she turns 9.
So I can send my child with the stupid name to rehab when she turns 16.
So I can get $100,000 a month in child support from the father of the child with the really stupid name.
So I can go to rehab every year.
So I can wear ugly dresses in public.
So I can have my own reality TV show and parents everywhere will say to their teens “WHY are you watching that CRAP?”
So I can eat your brain.
So I can drink and drive and not give a crap.
So I can have an affair and write a book about it.
So people will say “Why is she more famous than ______________ ? (fill in the blank with your favorite teacher, artist, scientists, writer, carpenter, doctor, fish and wildlife expert, food bank volunteer….)